paddy
10th August 2007, 19:35
Little Tony
A teacher asks her class, ´If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you
shoot one of them, how many will be left?´ She calls on little Tony. He
replies, ´None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.´ The
teacher replies, ´The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.´ Then
little Tony says, ´I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on
a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the
triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking
the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?´
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, ´Well, I suppose the one
that´s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.´ To which Little Tony
replied, ´The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I
like your thinking.´
Little Tony on Maths (Part 2)
Little Tony returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. ´Why?´
asks the father? ´The teacher asked ´How much is 2 x3?´ I said ´6´,
replies Tony. ´But that´s right!´ says his dad. ´Yeah, but then she asked
me, ´How much is 3 x 2?´ ´What´s the fucking difference?´ asks the father.
´That´s what I said!´
Little Tony on English
Little Tony goes to school and the teacher says, ´Today we are going to
learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a
multi-syllable word?´
Tony says ´Mas-tur-bate.´ Miss Rogers smiles and says, ´Wow, little Tony,
that´s a mouthful.´ Little Tony says, ´No, Miss Rogers, you´re thinking of
a blow job.´
Little Tony on Grammar
Little Tony was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go
to the bathroom. He yelled out, ´Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!´ The
teacher replied, ´Now, Tony, that is NOT the proper word to use in this
situation. The correct word you want to use is urinate. Please use the
word ´ur-i-nate´ in a sentence correctly and I will allow you to go.´
Little Tony thinks for a bit and then says, ´You´re an eight, but if you
had bigger tits, you´d be a TEN!´
Little Tony on Grammar (Part 2)
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of
hands from those who could use the word ´beautiful´ in the same sentence
twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, ´My father
bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.´
´Very good, Suzie,´ replied the teacher. She then called on little
Michael. ´My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
beautifully.´ She said, ´Excellent, Michael!´ Then the teacher reluctantly
called on little Tony. ´Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my
father that she was pregnant, and he said ´Beautiful, just fucking
beautiful!´
Little Tony on getting older
Little Tony was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after
another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said,
´Son, you know eating all that candy isn´t good for you. It will give you
acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.´ Little Tony replied, ´My
grandfather lived to be 107 years old.´ The man asked, ´Did your
grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?´ Little Tony answered, ´No, he
minded his own fucking business.´
Little Tony needs to wash his mouth out!
A teacher asks her class, ´If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you
shoot one of them, how many will be left?´ She calls on little Tony. He
replies, ´None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.´ The
teacher replies, ´The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.´ Then
little Tony says, ´I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on
a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the
triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking
the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?´
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, ´Well, I suppose the one
that´s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.´ To which Little Tony
replied, ´The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I
like your thinking.´
Little Tony on Maths (Part 2)
Little Tony returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. ´Why?´
asks the father? ´The teacher asked ´How much is 2 x3?´ I said ´6´,
replies Tony. ´But that´s right!´ says his dad. ´Yeah, but then she asked
me, ´How much is 3 x 2?´ ´What´s the fucking difference?´ asks the father.
´That´s what I said!´
Little Tony on English
Little Tony goes to school and the teacher says, ´Today we are going to
learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a
multi-syllable word?´
Tony says ´Mas-tur-bate.´ Miss Rogers smiles and says, ´Wow, little Tony,
that´s a mouthful.´ Little Tony says, ´No, Miss Rogers, you´re thinking of
a blow job.´
Little Tony on Grammar
Little Tony was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go
to the bathroom. He yelled out, ´Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!´ The
teacher replied, ´Now, Tony, that is NOT the proper word to use in this
situation. The correct word you want to use is urinate. Please use the
word ´ur-i-nate´ in a sentence correctly and I will allow you to go.´
Little Tony thinks for a bit and then says, ´You´re an eight, but if you
had bigger tits, you´d be a TEN!´
Little Tony on Grammar (Part 2)
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of
hands from those who could use the word ´beautiful´ in the same sentence
twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, ´My father
bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.´
´Very good, Suzie,´ replied the teacher. She then called on little
Michael. ´My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
beautifully.´ She said, ´Excellent, Michael!´ Then the teacher reluctantly
called on little Tony. ´Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my
father that she was pregnant, and he said ´Beautiful, just fucking
beautiful!´
Little Tony on getting older
Little Tony was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after
another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said,
´Son, you know eating all that candy isn´t good for you. It will give you
acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.´ Little Tony replied, ´My
grandfather lived to be 107 years old.´ The man asked, ´Did your
grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?´ Little Tony answered, ´No, he
minded his own fucking business.´
Little Tony needs to wash his mouth out!